5 Ways to Improve a Mother- Daughter Relationship

My mums just gone on a week's holiday and it spurred me to write this post, as I missed her and knew I would.  I have an amazing relationship with my mum, she is my best friend I can talk to her about anything.

 However its not always been so brilliant.  Thinking back to early teens I did not get along with her partner at the time and that meant it was very difficult to have a bond around him.  Later on in my late teens, early twenties I was probably a pain and didn't always see eye to eye.  Since my first born was 1 years old and I had just moved 5 mins away from my mum we started building an amazing friendship.  Its just got stronger in the last 4 years, we have lots in common and get on so well.

At the moment my daughter Annabelle is only 5 and I can see the love my mum had/has for me.  Obviously time will tell as she becomes older, and so do I. sob sob :) However one piece of advice from my mum that has been cemented in my brain is ' let your child make their own choices in life and just be there for support when needed'.  Mum knows me so well and I am quite opinionated especially to people close to me, as a parent of a future teenager I have to watch my words.

A relationship can always be improved as every relationship has its ups and downs. A closer connection does mean a happier, healthier relationship.

 Below are 5 way to improve your relationship with teenagers/adults

1. Have realistic Expectations

I feel this is where my relationship lacked when Annabelle was a baby until aged 1.  I expected mum to be like my Grandma was with me, have Annabelle for a morning/afternoon.  My Grandma apparently had me once a week over night.  The difference was my Grandma didn't work as my Grandad did.  Her youngest Child was 21.  Whereas my Mum was single and had a 2 year old and a 10 year old to look after plus working a bit everyday.  Obviously I came to a point where I got it.
When you have realistic Expectations you are not let down, so those feelings never arise to cause conflict.

2. Communicate your feelings

Sometimes we don't own up to our feelings/thoughts and hold them in.  How is the other person to actually know what is wrong.  There are times that you have to come out of your comfort zone and say ' I feel like this' 'saying that makes me feel like this'

3. Be a listener and listen carefully

Always listen to what your Mother/daughter is saying, sometimes there is an underlying message and we hear something different mainly the worst.  It is then best to clear up that problem/issue there and then.   There are times we assume what the other person is thinking which causes friction if there didn't have to be.

4. Learn to forgive

Forgiving your mum/daughter for something that has hurt you is only causing more hurt to you.  It is better for your well being.  Myself and my mum had a lot of trouble when she was with an x partner and I ended up pushed out quite a bit because I moved to my dads.  Even though it hurt I didn't blame her and if it was still and issue now we would not be as close.  People learn through there mistakes.

5.  Have fun together

Memories last a lifetime.  Capturing those fun times and remembering them forever will be amazing.  Luckily both my myself and my mum love massage, reflexology so one a week/fortnight I go round for an evening child free and we laugh for hours.  It brings back memories of giggling when my brother now 15 was young as we didn't want to wake him. Laughter is amazing.

 What ways do you or did you improve your mother-daughter relationship?

                                          Victoria x

                                                       

17 Weeks Pregnant Bump Update with Baby #4

This Photo was taken when I was 17 weeks exactly, as you can see my bump is growing, looks bigger in some clothes than others.

I have been so tired this week, I know the school holidays have a lot to do with it but by 4 I look forward until 8pm when my little ones are asleep! I do not get 5 minutes to sit down and relax.  My children are going through a fighting stage, mainly the boys, its seriously draining telling them off.

When you have 3 young children ( I cannot comment for mums with bigger age gaps) you do not have time to 'be pregnant' as you are a busy mum already.  So relaxing is out of the question but on the other hand I am so lucky to have my 3 children so can't complain.

I forgot to mention last week that I am 'high risk' this pregnancy.  The reason being that Annabelle my first born who was born on her due date was a little dot at 5lb 15 oz but she is now! However they have to put that in consideration.  They have changed the rules  since my boys as I was low risk then. The only difference is this time I get a earlier midwife appointment and 2 growth scans.  However I have been informed that I may not get the scans.  We shall see!

I have been good and not actually bought any clothes yet. However I did buy this pair of cute hats from George!

Symptoms- Heartburn now and again, tiredness, Tender Boobs- probably have to go up a cup size, this pregnancy they have grown earlier.

Cravings- None really but as I still can't stand the thought of tea ive been drinking cappuccino, the nescafe ones are pretty good

Sleep- Good however do listen to relaxing bump/baby music to get me to sleep- think ive got a bit of anxiety

Maternity Clothes- Still not in them, I live in legging and long tops.

Stretch Marks- No

Missing anything- wine and the gym- no point in joining yet but i feel I could do with it

Movement- Tiny little kicks but nothing certain as it happens quick and not regular - plus I have an anterior placenta so will feel the movements later

Gender- Boy

Happy or Moody- Bit of Both :)

Best Moment this week- Spending time with my family in wales, watching the Children play on the beach and have lots of fun

I am looking forward to- Going away for the weekend with my mum at the end of the month, I will really get some time off.

                                                     Victoria x

15-16 Weeks Pregnant Bump Update with Baby #4

For the weeks 15/16 weeks its just a quick update.  The reason being I had no symptoms that I can point out! This is probably because I have had all 3 children at home since the last couple of weeks in July.  School Holidays ahhh!!

The main event in this time was the gender scan where we found out its another boy.  So I will be a mum of 1 Girl and 3 Boys!! The children loved seeing the baby on the screen :)

I found out at my scans I have an anterior placenta so I haven't been feeling many movements, to be honest none I can actually really say yes that is the baby.

One main difference is I have a bump showing this time however what I am not happy about is the fact when I sit down its just a massive layer of fat.  I don't get it.  I'm usually a size 10/12 and feel I am putting weight on everywhere this pregnancy so planning to go a weekly swim.

I am tired most of the time but still go to sleep too late.  I can't get out of my sleep pattern pre- pregnancy where I was working my online business in the evenings.

Afternoon out at Woore Fruit Farm in Cheshire - Children Loved it

Sunday Afternoon myself, Phil-my other half and our 3 Children went to Woore Fruit Farm in Cheshire along with another family.

We have never been fruit picking before so was really looking forward to it plus I knew Annabelle and Callum would love it.

Even though the weather wasn't brilliant luckily it wasn't raining! Not sure I would have liked that :)


It was great watching the Children picking their own fruit and learning that strawberries do not live in a supermarket, they were picked first.  Sometimes in this world we take things for granted and its important to teach children where things come from, maybe not how for meat for example, mine are too small to understand that.

Joseph my youngest enjoyed eating them all the way round, he would actually ask for another.

It was great to see the children happy, having some independence and actually being good.  With it being the summer holidays im not going to lie its been hard work keeping them entertained whilst sorting the house as well as other things.

I can't wait to go again next year :)

                                                Victoria

My thoughts about becoming a Mum of 4

In January I will become a Mum of 4 Children aged 5, 3, and 2.  I actually can't believe I am pregnant again with my forth, these last 5 years have flown by.  When I had my daughter in 2009 I did want more children but fancied another when annabelle was about 2-3 and 5 year gap then 2 more.  Obviously broodiness took over.

I feel excited just as I did with my first pregnancy, still look at my scan photo's amazed that I have that little baby inside me.  The thoughts about what he will look like, what characteristics he will have, how the children will be together.

I feel nervous about the birth just like my other pregnancies.  I had 3 great labours so really I shouldn't worry.  But I do have memories of the pressure I felt as my babies 1 and 3 were back labours and the thought of it worries me.  The contractions don't worry me at all, that's whats so good about Gas and Air and a water birth but the pressure it doesn't stop.  But it may be like labour no2, a breeze in comparison and I was induced that time.

I do wonder what it will be juggling my newborn and Joseph my 26 month old at the time of my due date. I think because he is now 21 months old and a little monkey, infact my other half has nicknamed him tornado :)  He is a loving little boy but a little on the boystrious side and times make his older brother and sister upset.  I know he would be a bit older so hopefully easier!  Annabelle and Callum I have no worries on jugging them too as I'm sure they will become my helpers.. maybe or maybe not.

I feel I am a busy mum of 3 and I have coped so far, i'm sure I will be fine.  We just learn to adapt to new experiences and it will be an amazing experience i'm sure.

Pregnant with Baby #4 - Finding out the Gender

I am now 17 weeks Pregnant, at 15+6 weeks I went for a gender scan at Take a Peek in St Helens.  I booked this as a treat as we had never been to a private scan with my other pregnancies and it was our 10 year Anniversary so thought it was a great idea.

I did think it was a Girl, but no he is all Boy :)  One thing I have learned is to never believe it was a certain gender as its so hard to get your head around it.  I should have know, I guessed my other 3 children's genders wrong too! Seeing him on the screen was amazing, he was very laid back though, not too much movement.

It was great finding out but im not sure I would do it next time, bet you think you crazy mum :) I love to have a big family, i'm near enough there now with 4 Children this January.  If I was to be pregnant again I think I would be Team Yellow.

Back to Blogging

 Well I have been very quiet here for quite a while, I have to admit my life has been crazy the last year.

 I have lots to tell you about but the jist of the year is redundancies, finance worries, other half not having a job, starting an online business, my eldest starting school, my 3 year old starting Pre school and becoming pregnant with no4.

 I started this blog a few years ago now and it opened my eyes to the opportunities in the world for me, but I couldnt do everything especially juggling 3 children under 5, now under 6.  It has been hard work but I feel now it is time to share my life again with you.

 I have got lots of ideas planned to help busy mums like me as trying to do everything is hard.

I will also share my pregnancy updates with you, currently 17 weeks Pregnant due January.

 Here are some updated Photos of Myself and My Family...

                                Victoria